


Baby Bump

by onetiredboy



Series: Jay's Gender Fics (Read Disclaimer) [1]
Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: (no actual pregnancy!), Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Other, discussions of pregnancy, gender..........., im back on my bullshit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:21:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24658258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onetiredboy/pseuds/onetiredboy
Summary: "Do you ever think about having children?"--A short, soft, gender-affirming fic I wrote in like 20 minutes.
Relationships: Peter Nureyev/Juno Steel
Series: Jay's Gender Fics (Read Disclaimer) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1782826
Comments: 6
Kudos: 149





	Baby Bump

**Author's Note:**

> this is.... the fourth? i think? fic i've written just bc of Gender(TM) and i am officially making a series for them all because i have a 5th one underway...... i cant help it! trans ppl are just too beautiful and awesome not to constantly affirm as much as possible
> 
> **EDIT: I am discontinuing this series. Please follow the link to the series this is from and read the disclaimer there. Thank you!**

“Do you ever think about having children?”

Juno almost stabs his eye with the eyeliner. He glances up in the mirror to see the reflection of Peter looking down at his own lap, sitting on the bed, steadfastly not making eye contact.

So this is what it was. Juno’s been able to tell that Peter’s been on the verge of speaking several times over the last few days, but he always stops right at the last moment. Now Juno can see why.

“Uh,” Juno says, over the sound of his heartbeat in his ears. He tries and fails to figure out the right way to respond, so he just answers honestly, “No.”

He sees Peter nod his head, but he doesn’t venture any more information. Juno caps the eyeliner and walks over to the bed, sitting down beside him.

The bed lurches and settles with the extra weight. “Do… you?” Juno asks cautiously.

Peter twists the wedding band on his finger. “It… crosses my mind.” 

Juno feels his heartbeat in his fingers, now, but his brain is completely blank. He knows he sounds dumbfounded when he says, “But… I mean. We might not be thieves anymore, but… we’re getting old, and we move all the time, and we hardly live baby-proof lives, I—”

“I know,” Peter interrupts him, “This is why I haven’t mentioned it before, I’m perfectly aware it’s—stupid.”

“It’s not stupid,” Juno takes one of Peter’s hands in his, and puts his other arm around Peter’s back, “It’s not. I just… I…” he laughs, “I’m kind of shocked? I never knew you’d even thought about it.”

Peter worries his lip with his sharp teeth for a moment. He takes a breath, then… halts and lets it out again. He waits a moment, and then all at once he gushes out, “I just wanted you to know that if you had ever thought about it as well, I’d be… willing to carry the child.”

Juno’s eyebrows almost hike off of his face. He leans his head down onto Peter’s shoulder so that his shock won’t be visible, “You’d…you’re talking pregnancy?” 

He feels Peter swallow where his forehead is pressed to his neck. He makes a very slight nodding movement.

Juno goes to say something affirmative and comforting. “Huh,” is what comes out. His mind scrambles to fit this new information, the picture of Peter Nureyev settled enough to start a family, into Juno’s larger idea of their relationship. It’s… he’s…

Juno supposes he’s honoured that Peter even feels safe enough and comfortable enough to consider this kind of thing. He knows starting a family is meant to be… well, a sign of belief, for one thing. Belief that the two of them are capable of raising a whole child.

But Juno doesn’t feel too honoured. His stomach is tying in knots. It’s one thing to begin to heal from childhood trauma and another thing to shove yourself right into looking after a child of your own. 

“It was just a silly thought,” Peter says suddenly, leaning away from Juno’s touch, and Juno sits up.

“No, it wasn’t,” he tells him. Peter finally meets his eyes and Juno locks him there. “You said it crosses your mind, so this isn’t something that’s just occurred to you today. If… this is something that’s important to you, I want to talk about it.”

He brushes his thumb over the back of Peter’s hand, “If… it’s just about… the experience of being pregnant – like if you’re curious, or you’ve always wanted to carry a kid, we could talk through surrogacy options for you. You know, all the fun of morning sickness and none of the fun of actually keeping the kid afterwards.”

That earns him a little laugh. Peter’s gaze flickers away from Juno’s. 

“Or…” Juno continues, slowly, “If it’s… about me—us…”

He trails off. There’s no skirting around it: parenthood is a concept that doesn’t sit very easily in his stomach. Or his brain. Or any part of him, it feels like. Peter glances back at him, and Juno tries to find his words.

“I’m not… taking that off the table,” he starts, “But… we’d have to make the decision a long time in advance. I’d want to talk to doctors about our chances, about your safety. I’d… want to spend a few good years in therapy, preparing myself.”

“Of course,” Peter murmurs, “Juno, I’m not asking—”

“I know,” Juno soothes him, “This is all hypothetical. But we should at least talk through our options, right?”

Peter hesitates, and then nods.

“If the pregnancy part isn’t important to you, we could always adopt,” Juno continues. “An older kid might make me feel a little more comfortable – a little less like I’m entirely responsible for this kid’s whole future.”

Peter says nothing to that. Juno looks over him, trying to get a read on his feelings, but he only looks deep in thought.

“Or we don’t have a kid at all. We don’t have to have this figured out right now,” Juno reminds him. “Let’s… have a think about all those options, okay? We can touch base again later tonight, or in a few days.” Juno squeezes his hand and sits back from him, “Alright?”

“Yes,” Peter says. He looks at Juno and smiles, “I haven’t done more than entertain the thought. It may turn out it’s not what I want at all—”

“But it’s something you’ve considered,” Juno finishes for him, “And we might as well talk about it so you can solidify your feelings more.”

Peter’s smile widens. He leans over to kiss Juno once on the lips. “Thank you.”

Juno laughs softly and kisses Peter once more in return, “Don’t be stupid, baby. You’re welcome.” 

**Author's Note:**

> this is after they're well established, and peter would probably be in his 40s at this point, so i'm assuming that in the cool future(tm) our medical knowledge has progressed to a point of having ways of ensuring safe and healthy pregnancies in people in their 40+s.


End file.
